~an ode~

i lub* you...i hate* you...can't live without you*
you've been there forevr......i dont' have the first memory of us together...but wtf..there have been countless ever since......n' life's good coz you're in it......i have hope(it rhymes with dope*;) coz you'r my faith.
you said it yourslf last nite....we've come a loooonnggg way...AND HOW!!!!frm kiddie tlk ..n' fun games(pathaan saab...ooonch-neech)....growing up pains..embarrasing dressing sense in class three to hot pink stilletos ..boys tlk...to smoking on the terrace..almost getting caught...sneaking in ppl.....getting drunk n' puking..to sex education(whch you actuly never needed;)... lies.....love ...life...every God' damn thng under the fucking sun...its amazing but we can talk non-stop for hours..
...
looking back in hind sight....iam glad we din't end up killing each other coz thr were time whn we were on the verge of serious physical damage...:)
newy.....as i always say..you're one of the strongest ppl i know...if notThe Strongest.....n' if you loose 14 kgs...you'd be a sex *bam*!!!!
just like me...you're an oxymoron....the *oxy* keeps us same or else we'l jus be two morons!!...lol...cheap one!
yesterday's a pleasant memory...
today's pre party plannin
and tommorow's the Parrtttyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jus coz we're together...
jus keep the faith......well...tht's not technicaly correct......get yourslf some faith woman!!!
it'll carry yuo thrrough......
can't wait for you to find yourslf a wahhhccckkkkkkooo n' fall madly in love...
(you'l jus understand me a tad bit betttr then)
don't let any m*****f****r screw your head...ever....
you'r way better than that..
at this pleasant note..i shall take your leave my lady as it time to give you a huge huuuuggggiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!
forevr n' evr n' evr
gaga

rudy's sis's wedding.
dec12th.'o6
~old friends.jazzy clothes(thanks nihu for puttin me togthr.satty's burnt salwar).music.dancing(aloo din't hv to hold on to my stilletos this time round)yum foood(peter knows smthn abt the samosas)and chiilly winds!

bottm line....a fun evening~

The Alchemy Of Desire~Tarun J Tejpal.....(my random musing)

Fiza ......fizz...."writing is writing....fizz is life!"...
the words itself force the mind to conjure up an image.....not seen toO often......and always awe inspiring....
Not even halfway through the book,i notice MYSELF thinking different things.....n' thinking the same things differently....
We as kids were always taught to think for ourselves...a boarding school education only addded to this want to express MY individuality,and in ways not too regular.
Ripped jeans...unruly hair...black nail paint...multiple piercings...permanent bodyart..floyd....junk food...marlyn manson...they were statements we made evryday.
Emulating someone was never encouraged...but that is exactly what we did...
trying to be different we all turned out clones...day after day after day.
Our generation's known to take things a step further...and today it is impossible to say that "i admire a mr.so n' so" without having to go through gruelling glares....many of them despising..some of them questioning and a selected few escaping....coz they do too....
But fizz is someone i want to be...i say it with conviction...and believe myself when i say it....she's extraordinary in her ordinaryness*......beautiful beyond word in her white kurta.
If english language would have been a slave to me..or even a trusted friend i would have written proses or even a character sketch to tame her personality but.....
"voyeur" is a word i recently learned and many of its derivatives have found their way into my conversations lately....
this exact same word is so far removed from this book..the characters and plots that it is,for the lack of a better word, extraordinary!

the human body

used...abused..dissused...

i try to fix you...n' you do the same to me

notice a change with season....age..sex... “The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.”

delegates gather to view it...admire it...welcome it...love it ..need it..want it...despise it...hate it....hurt it...own it....

it is sacred...n' free......not to be owned...and never chained