the best days of my life*

you're leaving tonight..........
and i can't hold you back.......
can we freeze time tonight.....

*nihu n' sattypooh*......lub you guys forever n' ever!!
i know i don't hv to say it to you guys.....coz i hope you know how important you both are to me...n'will always remain!!
we've grown up together and you've been there through out..............
from bunking breakfast to the looong dinner conversations...
walks on the t.c to exam tension
the rendevous on the terrace n' sunday soiree's at barrista..
and aftr school we've just become closer....
the drives to rajpur..
a lot of photo sessions.....a whole bunch of non sensical movies...
cryin coz the world was a mean place to dancing in the winter sunshine....
walking up to randon strangers to complete a dare and dancing the nights away.....
birthday's in the car to walkin in the scorching heat to pickin up b'day cakes...
truth n' dare...killer* n' thumb fight...
sneaking in and out of houses....to flyin of to a rather strange city...
midnight snack sessions n' the heart to heart tlks in the kitchen..or the dining table...or wherevr we mght'v been!!!
shopping....hanging....wasting time...making memories...
from sneaking out of the city to getting sloshed....n' being sick all over the place
tractor rides...fishing....gorging ..on anythng n' everythng...!!
to the very recent rural* trip...
deadly driving skills to walks in cp.....
fighting ovr the lunch venue to the hours long dress rehersal before anythng n' everythng...
laughing..cryin.....acting funny ..to fighting like wild cats.....n'clawing at eachother...
we've made every passing day more special than the one gone by...
.being kids to the mature adults we've become....
now i just want to go back to being wht we were...or maybe remain forever in today...
we've locked in so many memories....of eachothr n' also of this city....
the last few years have flown and prty soon we'll be at this crossroad in life n' i know we've got to say buhbyee............the only hitch is tht i don't want to.....nt jus yet!
collecting memories like shells on a deserted coastline....i'v got a pile of them in a box under my bed(right by the old lady*)
and pretty soon all i'l have left are those ....
scenes from life i'll play over and over again....to feel what i felt then....and once again be what i was.
you're goin to change n' so will i......the only thng that'l bind us is this same pile...
jus keep your's as safely as i'll keep mine
im gonna take a piece of you with me.....and it'll be mine forever.

p.s....with a whole lot of gratitude and all my love!

unconcerned ..but not indifferent*

this is wht Man Ray's epitaph reads....
I am a huge fan of the masters of photography, Man Ray, Helmut Newton, Trevor Watson, but by far the biggest influence on my work has been New York photographer Spencer Tunick, his outside nude installations re-sparked my interest in photography.
There are visuals whch excite me every single day...and fellow photogAphers inspire me to do better...


p.s...tryin to stay influenced but far from plagiarism.

deviantart~

"photography is the recording of strangeness and beauty with beguiling precision" -- Sebastian Smee

*Gsp~17th-2oth Jan,'oo7*

most of our's first trip to "rural" India..grdspur was a blast to the T!!From lunch at the village in jalandhar to the kada prasad at the Golden Temple...sanny n' Peter nvr did miss a chance to take my trip!!

We screamed our lungs out cheering for India at the Wagah border...n' drove a tractor in the sugarcane fields....( lol)

Food also formed a very important part of our sujourn...rahul n' his apple pie cravings...Peter's khatti dakkars..(foul smelling sour burps...no novelty for hoggers like him!!!)

and the soiree by the fire place....the innovative way i finishd all the wine n' blew off the fire!!

the return jpurney was no less......we got compliment for entertaining co-passengers on the train back home n' reached home only aftr 12...courtsey a drunken driver!!

~good food~great company~awesome music during the looong drives~ oooh...n' the boooze n' killer sessions!!!

you guys are great fun!!....Thankee.....(convict style)

~Rob n' Liz~

Robert.."you'd have a country to obey you...
and your people to rule...
then i would mean nothing to you"
Elizabeth.."you can never mean nothing to me...
don't you know you mean everything to me."

(resemblance to any character,living or ficticious, is a coincident)

*

rhetorial speech..
n' a juxtoposed life....
the story behind every face ...

n' the salvation of every life.

~happy b'day~

happpy b'day..i don't know how old you'd be if you were still around..
you had an overpowering presence....
just wish you were still around.....
but iam sure where you are...you're happy...happier than what you were before..
i remeber the ray bans.....the brown shoes.....the white kurta pyajama...the pan stains...the smiling disposition...*ek tha gul aru ek thi bulbul*...that song still makes me want to cry...
the winter lunchs in the varanda...
the rabri in the night...the drives...
the trip to jaipur....
wow!!!
miss you...
forever and always!!!
i know you're lookin out for all of us..

~my playlist~

the blower's daughter....
kryptonite...
stinkfist....
blink 182...
scar tissue.....
tainted love....
steady as she goes...
iam not listing the music geniuses of our time......rummaging through my playlist....n' can't get myself to hear any one of them till the last beat...
rummaging through my head...patience has never been a virtue of mine...n' its becoming impossible to sit still n' not think the most random things...the most painfull thoughts creep in and out....n' i need to vent...
the only trouble is that there is no one here but myself...
for the first time the warm yellow glow looks sad....
there are minutes when it all seems sorted n' a second later i see life spin out of control...
we all wake in the night with a shudder.....n' for a micro mili second reality is at it's distorted best
the past month has been a whirlwind of emotions...situations..experiences...
ressurection and deja vu'...is that a way of life......or a sign from heaven,or hell, to learn from my past...???
i don't wanna play my part ...just for a little while i need someone to fill in...n' be an observer of my very own life...

~distorting my realities~28th dec.'o6~

~christmas eve~ *tolly ,Calcutta.~

when you think things can't get any worse..they actually do..get better i.e.
when i felt cold n' dejected...i realised there was more in store...
i don't wanna trivialise the person,therefore not naming names
...but..anyway..seeing him across the street...i din't feel ecstacy..just plain simple relief.
relief ..coz i din't feel alone anymore.....
relief ..coz i knew i had'nt lost my friend...
i crossd the walkway of solid tar..n' hugged him ..n' i knew everythnig would be fine
....he said he dint like my shoes n' the skirt din't suit me one bit...
n' nothing had changed!
the tide was well past n' had recceded n' we'd stood the test of time
....n' iam proud..
i owe you a lot....you've made me a stronger individual...n' the break* helped too!!..(jus don't go on another one though...life's too short
we might think differently on a zillion issues in life....n' there are things i did i shld.nt have...i lost the thing that was most important to me..your trust...n' i no you still hvn' t forgivven me 1oo% for it..
but when it's you Vs the world..iiam on your side!..i' hope you know iam always going to be just one phone call ..or one flight away.
i don't know abt the better person.(you'l nvr agree that i so am)...but you'v e been the bestest friend...n' you know i'v tried my best too ...
i can go on writting as long as its about you..n' me..n' us*...we've had our share of fuck up's...n' wish whole heartedly that we're done screwing up.
*nothing has changed*...we've both said it n' felt it at one time or another...it better stay the same....n' i know forever's too long...but wtf!!!
as of tday i don't even have to call you ..i can jus stand in front of the mirror n' converse with myself...coz i so know what you'll say next...n' how you'd react...n' even though i know wht'd piss you off i insist on doin so every God damn day!!;)
you've been so many thngs to me..from our initial days..when i used to chuk attitude...to tday....when i take all of your's...we've come a looong way fo sho...i don't want nothing to change..coz the love we have...is more important than a lot of other superficial relationships around.
(a tiny space in cyber world wld never be enough...but iam writing coz its one of thngs i do better than the others..)

*n' this is a thank you..
for the most painful bruises n' bites to the warmest hugs n' the best kisses..
for the wildest trips n' the longest drives..
for locking yourself out of the car at the airport.. the frst time i came..
n' the most fun i'v ever had...
to leaving me alone at the terminal at 4 in the morning...
for making me cry the whole night to then wiping my tears off...
for almost hating me n' then loving me like not many others....
for wacking my beads off...n' lending me your t-shirt...
for being my strictest critique to my staunchest supporter...
for caring for me n' my self respect..even when i din't do so myself...
for driving around town in the rain looking for a place for me to stay....n' understanding why i couldn't stay in that creaky old place..or that all girls* weird ass hotel!!
all the movies that we saw..n' then dint...to the scandalised old men...
n' fulfiling my ice cream cravings...
for all the fights.....verbal..n' also our pre planned physical..(you're not using your legs..or for that matter..your hands!!:0
for restoring my faith in you...me... n' friendship!
the shit we'v done..
the memories we've made...
for stranding me on the highway at 3 a.m.....
n' going in search of the howrah bridge later that night....
n' then getting lost...
the night's we'v e spent...doing so much n' then doing nothing at all
for making every trip the best...till my next!
for not being your polietest best n' then covering up in the most awesome way..(mazaak kar raha hoon yaar!!)
the long conversations.....(whch you are forced into)...n' me walkin bare foot on parkstreet(5 a.m,25th dec.'o6)
fr all the sunrises n' the dairymilks...
n' for always making sure i was allright...
for all the midnight snack sessions....
the wake up calls...
for not always understanding....but letting me just be...
...the azaan*
for pulling my jeans up n' then pulling them down...
for making your* school special ....
for makin prep leave fun...
n' hols memorable...
for the expression at the airport aftr my surprise ....
for the fight's we've faught..almost every single day..
for living and learning and being by my side...
for always being there....even when you necessarily weren't around.
you'r in my prayers always...(slimily 2 ttears hv come!)

forever is too short..coz i'l be there longer than that....

~hUnGoVeR kOlKaTtA~

~21st -28th dec..'o6..~
im on a boeing 767 n' as always ..i don't wanna leave!
coming here was a different story in itself..there were friends here i'd thought i'd lost..people mere aquaintances n' one close to a stranger..but iam returnin with friends..lost and found ..and a lot of fond memories..
its amazing but i recognise the city, when its jus a cluster of blinking lights,even before i touch down.
this time round i saw different facets of the city..the mesh of old n' new...intellectualls n' pseudo-intellectuals
performers n' observers..
i was ..am n' guess will always be a stranger but i wasn't made to feel like an outsider...
it's bylanes n' rusty mansions...from cobbled walks to the glittery nights...
walks at the lake n' drives which went on till the road seemed to stretch before us..
the 11 buck coffee at united coffee house to 4oo/- for a shot of vodka...
the strange familiarity...or the ffamiliarity in the strangeness...