edited*

middle of the night...
when my dad thinks iam burning the midnight oil....slogging for my impending finals....
this is wht i do.




this is one of the old dilapidated structures close to college street,one of the older part in the city of Cal(my fav.for reasons too obvious)
but comin back to the city..n' the building...
people walk by ....buses n' the yellow cabs honk past n' by standers don't even acknowledge it's presence.no one pays no heed
as this architectural marvel screams for a face lift
an' quietly observes life pass by.
generationgs os students have walked past...countless hawkers have spat n' pee'd on it's once newly whitewashed walls...but tday..all there is is a stench...
but i love it nonetheless
n' very soon i'd go back n' have a look at it again(i promise myself)

*HAIL MARTY!!*

i mean he finally won!!!

Academy Awards 'oo7 would definately go down in history.....definately the history of my life!!!
With the kodak theatre as the playgound an' the whose who of hollywood in attendance,they finally decided to give the master his due!

















*movie brat*
(along with the other greats...refer link)
can we spell perfection any other which way??

for more info....kindly click the link on the side~

*i'd die without memories..an'nothavingyoutomakethemwith*

diluted......sublime......
but still left intoxicated.....
concentrated.....stuffed.......an' a jam packed itinerary
as i try every time to live my life in a matter of hours...
seconds growing into minutes...which multiply themselves n' turn into hours..
all you can give me are these moments...i don't ever ask for more..
the touch... the caress...and our* look....
these are just fractions of time....maybe even figments of my imagination..
.
it's about coming a full circle...but carrying on nonetheless

it starts with a nudge ...deep within...an' a longing...
the concentric circles...of my needs...your wants an' our desire.
it's all the dynamics of economics
the want to belong.....the need to possess n' the desire to remain..

these roads have seen us through... they even recognises me now...
they've seen my life fold n' unfold....more than a few times.
i hear a silent welcome as i touchdown...n' the labyrinth bids me farewell everytime i leave...
it's borne witness to my story...and to your's.....
our senseless journey...
from the initial awkwardness to the tear drenched goodbye...an' all that comes in between.
from the tenderness to all the bitterness that's flown from me to you...n' vice-versa...
from love n' lust ...an all the human emotions that exist..
from nothingness to both of us growing an' coming into our own.
my tears have mingled with it's dust...
an' our laughter ...unbottoned and carefree has stuttered in it's humid wind.

i'v decorate my life with miniscule memories....n' time spans which wldn't amount to much...
we've spent evenings dissolved in laughter...
n' carefully traversed nights traced with white stuff they call love
we fight over matters that matter to noone else.
divulge secrets...an' live a dream through our diverse reality


something intense
an' i give in..time an' again....
as you linger in me..just yet..
i etch my memories into you....kiss your eyelids to seal the dream.
the dream..the hour.... my temporary life....
an unfinished relationship....
my childhood..an' my other self.
the better part of my being...
an a juxtaposed existence.....
not so much my opposite....but a place that's been my oasis for sometime now
half baked an' all of my truth...

it's like summer rain...
n' it lingers on me ..
pulsating n' warm .....warm with the heat of touched skin.
for right now....only bridges connect us
to something...anything...an to everything...
oblivion accompanies heady joy..
velocity brings along a heady mix...liquid cocain i'd like it referred as...
the headiness.....the warmth ...the assurance..... the belief....
all of which comes along with possession..and a single meaningful touch.
....

there'll soon be a dead end and vertigo will carry me back..
but till then...i stuff...consolidate....build..
n' live my life....in a matter of hours....

it's these hours of being..of living ..an' loving...which set everything alright.

with you it's not even half a blood tie.... but....
and when it's time to upturn the hourglass i feel salt water edging my eyes...
we look in different direction....
contemplating...wondering....hoping...and eventually giving in..
you'd never agree but you taste it too...
once again i memorise the contours of your face for future reference..coz i never know which departure would bring along our final goodbye.
i try an' hold on for as long as i can....
i kiss the scar between your eyes an' get ready to fly.....
my movements are all but animated...an' i perform a mechanical drill...the only thing i smell is your familiar smell....

your life through your blog

reading random blogs is my new favourite pastime....
i swtch of the television....
put my phone on silent(no ones calin at 4 in the morning anymore)
n' change my msn status to Away*....
sever connection with my reality..to shift into someone elses in one fluid motion.
n' begin....(drumroll....not required)
one aftr the other...
post after post.....
i scan them n' try to digest as much as my feeble brain lets me....
lives of strangers come alive vividly in my brain...
scenes from their life with picture perfect quality play in front of my eyes...
i can see this girl walkin back home in the rain....n' rmbr my own midnight walks....
an young boy's anticipation over the impending trip....n' im reminded of my own during those flights to my strangely familiar favourite city..
some posts intresting...some not so much so....
but each one is a figment of someones imagination..or an experience which holds quite true!

~randomly random~

can i pretend there's no one outside......just by closing the blinds...
the rings leaving a mark on ym index finger...but iam still not takin it off....
is the light too blinding?
is tomorrow too close....n' yesterday too far away....
do i have vodka in me instead of blood??
are dreams subliminal ....??
n' fashion changing so fast that we need to dash to keep up....
how real is reality...
how deep is my love??
is depth the right measure to even measure it??
why is pink a girliee* color....?
why did boy's gt blue*?
i want blue!!!!!!!!!!....actully...forgt it......im sittin on the rainbow!
(hv u noticed tht the *r.a.i.n.b.o.w* has 7 letters...bldy fcking A.W.E.S.O.M.E...anther 7!!}
how far am i from Morano....?
is entertainment biased?
is culture just a myth?
is news ever too new?
Is history too repetetive??
are colours a illusion?
isn't procrastination jus a big word to cover sloth(one of the seven deadly SINS)
does the silence talk??
am i a pseudo intellectual??
when will i ever break the barrier.....push my limits.....go the whole 9 yards?
do people use a bandana to hold back hair....or is it a God forsaken *style statement*?
Are we castrating utility?
will i ever get stoned?
How far do i have to be to be really far away..?
is that me in the mirror?
what would it be like to have mpd??
(why does messenger suck so bad)
is modern art even art.......or just a m@#%$! f&%$#@'s lame attempt at immortality?
is it even worth tlking about?
how much do reviews matter?
the space in tmrw's newspaper....does it promise anythng
how much would it take to de-fame someone?
how
how much do i have to love..for you to realise?

{disclaimer...not drunk/stoned/or intoxicated in any whch way}

~one day~

i'd leave the city..the country...n' be somewhere very far away.....
i'd loose friends and gain a few detractors......
i'd develope tastes for the flavors of the world and one day have the shiny stars at my feet....
the crowds screaming....n' adrenalin gushing.......
the applause after the performance might jus render me deaf for a micro second...
i mght one day suffer from selective amenesia...or short-term memory lapse.....
...through all this i'd never once forget your voice...
you saw me come into the world...n' one day i'd see you leave....
but this one fraction of time...is now so etched im my brain...that's it's a part of my very being.....
courage doesn't even come close to defining what powers you...
love is too small a word to describe what you feel for us....
sacrifice is the only fluid powering your daily life.....
i wake up to your face every single day and the tears i'v cried with you.....it never hurt to shed them
iam tryin my best to capture moments in a glass jar...so i'd keep them on my window n' the winter sunshine would stream in on it one winter morning..far away form now!even today as the crazy world tries to suck me in..n' i trip over every single hitch on the way....my solace is you....you are my haven...the only refuge i'v ever know.
even if i come close to being half the human being you are.....
those stars down below would never matter

p.s...as i said earlier...love is too small a word....coz what i feel...is well......more than just a feeling...

~a crazy friend far..far away!~

~tere hotton ko jam ki tarah hotton per lagana chahta hun. teri avaaz ko apnay dil key kissi koney mein basana chahta hun, , shayad is zinagai mein hum kabhi mil na paaein lekin phir bhi tujhay ek baar apnay gale lagana chahta hun~

~kutch baatein hi alag thi , nainital ki fizaaon mein, us dheemi se hawaa ke jhoke, un chottein se gaaon mein, tumsay jab mila to alag se kashish thee tumhari adaaon mein, khosaya gaya hun ab un lamho ke chaaon mein~


~zindagi kutch badal se gayi hai, badal sa gaya hu mein, apni mushkilo ke aag mein ,pighal sa gaya hun mein, bekhbar saa thaa ab tak zindagi se kislea , apnay hi akelaypan mein kutch kho sa gaya hun mein~

Rolo's *brainchild........
you'r chessy sometimes...but you're getting better with every passing sher*....
vaise sher ko angrezi mein kya kehete hain!??!?>>>HEHEHEHEHE
anyway...im waitin for the book.....n' i want credits.....
and ...and....and.....the frst auttographed copy!!!!!!!!!!
n' ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....WHAT YOU DOIN THIS VALENTINE?!?!?!?

~of crimson leaves n' starless skies~

would there ever be a day..when i'd look up and see something more .....
make sense of the scribbles and scrawls in the starry sky that's always there....
one day i'd stop lookin....and the empty wet road would reflect my story to me...jus like the head lights of a lonely car after the summer rain......
i hate summer rain in the plains.......it brings along the humid air i can't seem to bare....
miss the rain in the hills.....the smell of wet mud n' crudshed pine leaves
i hate the hills though......
well my life is about juxtaposition...so to say the least!
i want to get drunk n' jus a lil' stoned and walk those now familiar streets with you..holding hands....well,not necessarily.....coz i'll be in that happy place....
too occupied n' almost too content to think about holding hands.
i won't even remember the details of the moment...n' like always replay the evening in my head..over n' over ...like the blower's daughter on my playlist....the details wld always elude ...n' i'd cry for the moment lost...but the taste of it in my mouth would definately suffice.......
it will linger...but for how long??
just enough for me to go back n' take a quick peek....n' then it would be gone forever....like the aurora i saw in my sleep once...it hasn't returned ever since......though i prayed for it to!
there's a thin line keeping me from insanity.....bt with you i wldn't care.....
just like i don't about my disheveled and ooh so wet hair.......
you'd wipe the rain from your brow.....
n' i'd push
my indecisive mind out the open window.....it wldn't fall with a thud...as i expected it to....it'd jus fly away..light as that frail cottony pollen....
i'd never be discontent or lonely again..
atleast not until tomorrow.

~Happy 75th~

mch less candles than....the required 75.......but Happpyyy Buddaayyyyyy !!
love you forevr...n' longer !!