me...alive

you make music..i make stories..
there are voices in my head and i live ad different character every single day....
i'v lost count of what i'v already been and all that i want to be...
the ones who screwed me n' the ones i wana screw over..
the scratches are growing with evry count...
the malignant joy eating me up...alive

a night in town

the blinding city lights....
the velocity of our lives.....
the desperate looking midnight people....
the shadows....sometimes alluring...at others... sinister

....

i wanna run away...frm myself...n' the voices in my head...
i jus don't wanna belong.....to anyone...
i don't wanna desire anythng..anymore

...

the phone hasnt vibrated in the longest time....

Rain

walkin into that space...
which felt so much like home...
but somehow i still dint belong....
or maybe i dint want to.
that one look which said it all....
that one smile which started it all....
the one touch that melted everything....
that's when i was blown away....
to look up into the night sky as the rain falls on your face.....
its music that can never be made thereafter.....

~~~~~about *ME*~~~~~

A WoRk iN pRoGrEsS...
dRaMa QuEeN...
SuFfEr FrOm aN aTtEnTioN dEFiCiT diSoRdEr...
ChOcoHolIc...
iNtRoVeRT...
ExTrOvErT....
sANe...
iNsAne....
An oXyMoRon.....
fUn...
BoRiNg......
iNtELlEctUaL...
SmArT....
DeSiRabLe....
DeTeStAbLe....
eAsiLY hAtED....
eVeN MoRe EAsILy lOVed....
AS Un* psEuDo As THey COMe...
wAnDerER...
a pUn...
FiERcLy LoyAl...
BItCH....
FutUrIsT....
BOhEMiAn....
buNNy...
VoRaCioUs ReaDer....
jInxEd....
PoEt.....
wRiTeR...
PhOtOgRAhER...
AlMoSt ALcOhoLic......
sToNer...
DrEaMeR....
bElIeVer....
ThE EtERnAl Ro MaNtiC...
TrYInG to Be GenUIneLY hApPy....
InTeRNaLLy BlEeDIng...

"the look"

"i don't know when i actually got hooked on to the camera...i'v always had cameras n' pretty pictures around ever since i can remember...i used to browse through old family albums for hours...the images came alove..and there was so much that they said.....the history...story....the fun times...the memories...its amazing how the push of one button captures a moment in time...forever...

guess papa passd his passion on to me..n' its one of those thin invisible cords that binds us still.i used to piss off my frnds all the time...jus walkin back to the dorm aftr dinner i used to jus look at anything and everything and exclaim......."wld'nt it make a pretty picture!!"

these are my frst few model......but these pictures are special...for the people in them and also coz they'r one of my frst professional shot.till someone actually agrees to pay me for my expertise n' skill... i have to do with friends wanting to pose for me...and are actully pretty camera friendly...

don't know if my passion would feed n' clothe me.....but till then i guess i should just keep clickin...

when lightning strikes sand........it turns into *glass*...

i dn't rmbr the name of the movie right now...
the one with resse witherspoon..n' the guy with pretty blue eyes....and the huge bloodhound....
but the dude was a glass blower in the movie...
and i want'd to go to Morano,Italy..n' be a glass blower....i still do.

~intrests~

travelling....i want to hitch hike all over the world..
fashion..
photography....i lv ppl photography...
things in motion....
flashing light bulbs..
graffitti on my wall....
old pictures...
puppies....
movies...
music... books...
people.....
designing...
clothes..... shoppin...retail therapy works bttr thn nethn else.....
i lv playin wid colors...
i *slimily* wtch tom n' jerry n' hv loads of fun ..
swat cats too.....LoL
bummper cars...
glow in the dark stars...
luggage trolly rides at the airport...
flying away on an hrs notice..
soccer .....
random documntries by amatures..
n' planes, n' flying....i wntd to be a pilot whn i ws a kid.....now i jus dnt no....bt i thnk i wanna be famous....iam figuring out HOW!?!"

Thorn Birds...Colleen Mccullough

There is a legend about a bird which sings just once in its life,
more sweetly than any other creature on the face of this earth.
From the moment it leaves its nest it searches for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it has found one .
Then singing among the savage branches.
It impales itself upon the longest, sharpest one.
And, dying, it rises above its own agony to out-carol the lark and the nightingale .
One superlative song, existence the price. But the whole world stills to listen, and God in His Heaven smiles. For the best is only bought at the cost of great pain….
Or so says the legend.

*love*

To run…just to stand still…
To break away ..
only to belong once more….
When you walk away .. from any relationship …
only to be faced
with it on the very next bent….
To hold on so tight .. that it tenderly slips away….
To feed on the loss and thrive on despair …
To be afraid to lose something
something...that was never truly your’s ..

That’s when….
the silence is deafening…
and pain is pleasure…
the happiness pierces through…
and love does nothing but kill

`the war within`

.how life changes and we change with it...
we discover ..and rediscover ourselves every passing day....
my beliefsremain...
but i don't seem to agree with them anymore....

Neon ghosts..
A purple haze…
Broken glass beads..
Stay with me…carry me through

Grey silhouettes ..
Misty mornings…
An animated world…
disappearing acts…
and time slipping through…

Life caught in transition…
Dreams turned into realities…
Realities into nightmares….
Would tonight make a difference to you??

~ADDICTION~

Is it a pattern.. if yes, I’m trying hard to detect it….but it escapes me every single time.
Do you always get attracted to the same situation or people in life..just like the moth does to the light??
Are lessons learnt in the past all unlearnt one by one??
Are stories told and retold so often, that myths one day become realities??
Does history actually repeat itself??
Sometimes the dark is more inspiring than the light….the bad so much better than the good…
memories in life visited over and over again … till its all one geometric pattern…too similar yet too novel every time its revived.. ….
gravitating towards the familiar and known….
addictions of yesteryears relived once more, coz its in the warmth of this familiar daze that I can be me ..
making a straight line out of the web….as I travel round in circles..
Trying to sort the knotted mesh in my head .
Instincts are jinxed and reason rendered numb…
coz its an addiction.. one that wouldn’t leave me just yet.

thoughts...jus off my mind

Reality.....
crystal clear,
a filthy pnd fillled with ripples,
an irristible, inndecent blow.

Dreams...
shattered pieces of glass,
dew drops on the glass blade...
..waitin to sublime.

Happiness..
a riot of colors..
a glow within..
seems like a distant echo.

Hurt...
misty solitude,
progress from zilch to knowledge...
never very far off..

close you're eyes

If you wanna know Tomorrow morning I have to leave
But wherever I may be Best believe I'm thinking of you
I can't believe how much I love
All we have is here tonight .....We don't want to waste this time
Give me something to remember..... Baby put your lips on mine
And I'll love you forever ...
Anytime that we find ourselves apart
Just close your eyes And you'll be here with me Just look to your heart ....
And that's where I'll be If you just close your eyes
Till your drifting away You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes I know I'm gonna see you again.....
But promise me that you won't forget
Cause as long as you remember.... A part of us will be together
So even when you're fast asleep Look for me inside your dreams
Keep believing in what we're sharing .
And even when I'm not there to tell you , I'll love,
Love you forever
Anytime that I can't be where you are
(Chorus) Is there anywhere that far? Anytime you're feeling low Is there anywhere that love cannot reach? Oh no It could be anywhere on earth It could be anywhere I'll be Oh baby if you want to see Just close your eyes And you'll be here with me Look to your heart That's where I'll be Just close your eyes Till your drifting away You'll never be too far from me

not so perfect life

life's never perfect...there's always that extra somethin we want or the extra mile we need to go... in d mess it was all about extra pudding..be it gulabo or monday pudding..... on the field it was all about pushing us to take that one extra round..whch obviously no one ended up takin... The day i stepped out of school...life looked so perfect and there was not a thing about it i wantd to change.. I had this list with the names of all my friend on it....there were about 8 names on it...and i believed that each one of them would follow me to hell and back...or so i wanted to believe.... 2 years have passed......and there have been changes in that list....there have been some additions and some subtractions... I fought with God when i lost a few special friends.....it felt like i had been cheated by my very own and the tears made it very difficult to see reason ...it felt like i was losing pieces of my life .........some solid rocks on which life was based were rendered weak enough to washed out and shake my faith..... Something in me told me not to give up...coz time doesnt wait for us....and there is no half time for us to sit and lick are wounds... I could never lose thos e parts of life...coz of the memoried that i'd made togethr wid all the people that had been a part of my life....i learnt that as we fill in the pages of the journal calld life.......we havn't been givn an eraser... There's a reason behind the entry..exit..or for that matter...re-entry of people in our lives...all we have to learn to do is to cherish the time we have with them ...coz we don't know when they might just leave ...

Self Portraits

~we will become silhouttes~

~a few candles~
~random weekend at the studio~