~youwonder~

we'r all a lil hurt..
just a lil broken...
all of us...as fcked as the nxt..
the dark is comforting and we retire into our past...
looking for somethng...anythng to hold on to..so we don't slip away.
we play a character....all the time..hiding the hurt...covering the pain in a shroud...being brave n' happy..just the way we'r meant to be...supposed to be i.e..jus doin it a lil bettr this time
there always music playin n' its defining our lives....
a song fr the day...a song for every moment.....
but wht when you want it to be alll to be silent....coz it's not music anymore....jst white noise...irritating...burning...omnipresent.
i look into your eyes...asking you to come on out.....
the smile tht you just passd ws a in its brutal reality a plea....
i wait to tear the walls down...
i understand but my hands feel tied....a straighjacket i cnt get out of...i am no Houdini(sp?)
the edges are gtin edgier
the surface jus a lil rough...
does the phoenix always rise from its ashes.....or is a version of the santa story??
At the brink of extension.. you wonder why i hurt myself...you wonder why i love pain so mch???
it takes the focus frm life...love..thngs in general...
n' fr tht minute all my senses are diverted to myself....i dnt care about you nemore....jus like it' ws always meant to be.

smoke

u seen a cigrt burn...???
closer to the butt....closer...closer.......
is it scary.....????...or enticing??
the smoke plays around.....
its hallucination personified........
a dance drug taking you some place you din't know existed....
a place you don't wanna leave now tht you're here.....
ever felt you were smoking too much.....
n' the smokes were'nt enough to carry you through the nite.......
i cant use an ashtray coz i'l be screwed if my dad found out......
so i ash in a glass of water....one of those glasses you'd find at the local hawker....the one tht come 20 a dozen...or smthn close....
the ash ..its all settled below.....in a muddy pile at the bottom of the glass...
its ugly...look at it carefully now....
there are patterns you'd detect there.....
smthing prty...smthn unusual.......smthn diffrent fr evry eye
im counting the butts lying in the cornr on a white sheet.....they'r leaving dirty marks there....
marks i know i'd nvr be able to wipe off...

Every corner has a story scrouching in its dusty heap...

Every creak on the floor resounds with laughter of happiness past...

The sun's rays filtered throug the rusty windows.. try and bring in hope...meaning...love.. life...passion.......

but the shabby old curtain form a wall......a wall of stone holding everything within .....all the hurt..the pain......grief..the burn....its bottled inside.....reeking of destruction...of life being suffocated

and all without.

trippy image..

i love the weirdass multicolored graphics on the media player...especially the yellow orange ones....they attck you it seems..n' thn transport you.....
to whereever it is that you want to be....
they're positively trippy..breaking bounds of reality...